


But he doesn't.

by Pomelofangirl



Category: Shards of the Sun
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 20:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelofangirl/pseuds/Pomelofangirl
Summary: “It doesn't matter.”But Cosimo has frankly got enough of Fyr's avoiding remarks.“Yes, Fyr, it does.” says Cosimo calmly, hoping that it won't end at this.





	But he doesn't.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liryczna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liryczna/gifts).



> At first I was like "Let's write some fluff to fix the crit1 damage that Fyr got"
> 
> And then Lir told me that he's gonna avoid Cosimo at all costs and this happened so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The group is back but they are not the same as they were before.

 

At least Cosimo knows and sees that Fyr is alive, though far from being well

 

Something had definitely happened, and Cosimo knows better than to ask about the details.

 

“He'll tell you when he'll be ready.”

 

It's a universal truth, that others tell him and Cosimo accepts that.

 

But time passes, and Fyr distances himself from him even more.

 

As if he avoided Cosimo, and everyone else on purpose.

 

Fyr doesn't tell him what happened. He doesn't answer his questions, so Cosimo stops asking.

 

Instead, he beats around the bush, saying things out of the blue, as if he was throwing puzzles and it was up to Cosimo to piece them together into a coherent picture of what exactly is bothering Fyr.

 

On top of that he avoids Cosimo as often as he can.

 

Fyr is back, and alive but at this point he might as well be dead.

 

Time passes, and sometimes Cosimo wonders if maybe Fyr is over whatever happened to him, but it takes one look into the general direction of him to notice that he's still not okay.

 

Cosimo doesn't want to say that he stops trying to reach out to him, but with so many people around the house, there's always something to do, and he finds less time to worry about Fyr.

 

He still does though.

 

One such night, when he's tired and would really rather sleep than walk around the house, one last time to see that everyone is okay, he sees Fyr outside.

 

Obviously he's on the roof, sitting on the stairs to the temple, staring emptily into the distance.

 

“ _Maybe this time he'll listen and go to sleep.”_ thinks Cosimo as he makes his way up there.

 

The others are sleeping, and Cosimo really doesn't have time for this. He hopes it will be quick.

 

But when he sees Fyr, who doesn't acknowledge his presence, he knows it will take a while.

 

They sit beside each other, on the stairs to the temple, staring into the distance.

 

After a while, Fyr finally says something, without looking at Cosimo.

 

“It's stupid, you know.”

 

“What is?”

 

“I mean... you weren't even there. Not... really at least. But it was... it felt... I saw you literally there so.”

 

“Fyr, what are you talking about?”

 

It's out of the blue, without an easement into a context, or a warning that this is the key to all the other puzzles, that Fyr has been continuously putting before him for the past months.

 

And then Fyr looks at him.

 

For the first time in months, since they all came back, Fyr looks directly into Cosimo's eyes and it doesn't last for long.

 

Cosimo wanted Fyr to look at him, and when he finally did, he wished Fyr didn't.

 

The hurt, sadness and a pain that Cosimo couldn't place behind Fyr's gaze, wasn't something he would forget anytime soon.

 

Fyr looks away, to the ground, resigned.

 

“It doesn't matter.”

 

But Cosimo has frankly got enough of Fyr's avoiding remarks.

 

“Yes, Fyr, it does.” says Cosimo calmly, hoping that it won't end at this.

 

He doesn't anticipate what happens next.

 

“BUT IT WASN'T EVEN REAL! SO! IT!!! DOESN'T!!” Fyr yells, as if yelling this aloud would convince himself that it is the truth. There are tears in his eyes, probably upon reviving the memory, or because it has been months and it still bothers him, and he can't take the explanation of “ _It didn't really happen_ ” as a solid one.

 

If Cosimo didn't know better, he'd tell Fyr to quiet down so he won't wake up the others. But they don't matter now.

 

Not now, when Fyr finally admitted – in his own roundabout way, a part of what was hurting him.

 

After sobbing for a moment – and Cosimo wishes he could just hug him, but he's not sure that it would be appreciated right now – Fyr calms down somewhat, and adds with sniffs in between.

 

“I know that it's over and it doesn't matter now. Didn't for a long while. But it still felt like it was real.”

 

Cosimo wished that he knew what exactly Fyr was talking about.

 

But he doesn't. And Fyr doesn't tell him much more.

 

And even if he knew that Fyr refers to Cosimo being dead, along with the others, and he'd be the only one on the brink of death muttering “Sorry for letting this happen”, Cosimo isn't sure he could console Fyr and ensure him that this will never happen.

 

Because if by some cruel twist of fate it came to that – his friends and family murdered, all except Fyr – Cosimo would probably be the one dying, unable to protect his loved ones.

**Author's Note:**

> They all deserve better tbh.


End file.
